Chemo N°6 on hold

So my bloodwork is not good enough to get chemo number six on schedule tomorrow. The big six in the CBC — hemoglobin, white blood cells, red blood cells, hematocrit, lymphocyte, platelets — are all “abnormal,” meaning too low, with platelets especially tanking. I asked if I could have chemo anyway, and my doctor said she’d gone over everything a second time, and no, I would not be getting it. I was also having my last chemo discussion with her, since this was supposed to be my last chemo and the questions were on my notepaper and crowding my brain. I asked if I could possibly have an additional round of chemo because of these delays (I just want any random outlier cancer cells killed) and she said no, that I’m already being treated fairly aggressively. Which is why my blood levels are where they are, and why I’m not bouncing back.

All of which just left me angry and sad and wishing things were turning out differently. So once again, Friday 13th did turn out to be unlucky. I will go back next week for repeat bloodwork and see if next Friday is a go.

To try and balance out my unhappiness and disappointment, I am posting photos from Fleurs de Villes Rosé Toronto, an incredible floral exhibition held in Bloor-Yorkville last week supporting breast cancer. I think there were 38 separate exhibits, ranging from a British telephone box bursting with blossoms to Insta-perfect swings framed by flowers to an exhibit of dogs, all made of roses and orchids. I have tended to stay indoors and away from any- and everyone, but an outdoor exhibit seemed safe, there were plenty of washroom facilities (still a huge concern) and my car was nearby. Thank you to Tessa for convincing me to go!

All of these flowers are alive—so incredible! The “babies” (I know, they’re 3 now) were starting to get tired
Those flowers were lying on the wall behind, and the boys picked them up unbidden and gave them to Mummy — that’s love
And then it was Nana’s turn to get the bouquet!
Yes, all made of orchids. Check out my chemo ankles, and this was the first five minutes of our two hour stroll…

Cross your fingers for better bloodwork next week!

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