My tongue is no longer wrapped in Vaseline!


Here is a rant I’ve been meaning to have, but haven’t because it seems very petty in light of cancer and chemo and blisters and pain. I had mouth sores that killed, and moved out to the corners of my mouth, which was both painful and pretty, and I did complain about them.

The most annoying, disappointing and frustrating side effect of my chemos has been the fact that I cannot taste anything. That is apart from foods tasting too spicy and hot when in reality they weren’t hot at all according to everyone else at the table. When food didn’t taste too hot, it tasted like my mouth and tongue were covered in Vaseline. Like no flavour could get through, no matter how good it smelled, or looked, or even when I made it myself, and seasoned it just right just like I would always season it—it tasted like NOTHING. And I behaved like Einstein’s definition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I made my special spareribs with secret molasses orange sauce, roasted garlic mashed Yukon potatoes,  roasted marinated peppers, even my beautiful cookies, and nothing tasted like it was supposed to. Nothing tasted like anything!

But now, after another rollicking week of not being able to taste anything the way it is supposed to be tasted, I had THE FIRST THING THAT TASTED NORMAL SINCE THE BEGINNING OF JANUARY!!!


!st prize for a food tasting like what it is supposed to taste like goes to half a toasted everything bagel with Philadelphia herb and garlic cream cheese!

Now of course I’m not going to eat anything for hours in hours, in case this was a fluke. I want to luxuriate in a taste that tastes the way it is supposed to taste!


Between sixth and seventh chemos

Weeks Image to Image.

Nothing much to report. First week, lots of pain (got drugs), nails getting yuckier—thank God the seasons that bare toes are de rigueur are not right now, because mine would freak you out—shedding skin, nails warping up and looking like they’ll be leaving their comfy beds soon. I don’t now what to do except ask the onc next visit. Fingernails I am keeping polished with nail hardener and colour, hoping that they don’t turn red and pop off! I’m still getting nausea, so taking those meds, which happen to be old-school anti-psychotics, I was hoping for some fine inner peace from those, in addition to the anti-nausea properties.

Lots of sleep.

I took Luka and two of his friends, plus Graydon, bowling on Friday after school. The three guys played fun games, good-natured competition, or really, the competition must have been within themselves, because I couldn’t see any.

Three months away from work, and as I sat there, with the country crooners twanging the length of the place, I felt like I was playing hooky. Friday afternoon, 3:30, sitting between tables of dudes drinking back pitchers of beer, clapping and whoop-whooping it up with every good throw, it defs had that feeling of making up a story to skip the office.

And I don’t have to.