I am made of poison


So this is the shirt design that I wish I could order from TopatoCo, but apparently it was a circa 2007 T-shirt, so I am out of luck.

It is the shirt I would have worn today, when I had to peel back my Annie-made toque to show the manager at the Goodwill shop (Graydon is shopping for picture frames to showcase his artwork and others’) that I am on chemo and in dire need of a bathroom, employee or not—it was a desperate move, and I’d rather have flashed a cool T-shirt than a bald head, but my need was great.

She caved, and I made it there with seconds to spare—when they said Taxol doesn’t cause nausea, they did not know me.

Yesterday I got up at 7 a.m., got Luka on the school bus, slept right through to 3:20 p.m. (with coughing, of course, but not getting up) when he got home, then slept three more times before bedtime.

Today, my insides are tortured, my ankles, knees and hips feel like they are made of brittle sponge toffee, both palms, most fingers and soles of both feet are sloughing off skin like I’m an anaconda, I have fresh/dried blood all over the place because the slightest scratch or bump opens up a cut, and my mouth is rejecting everything but water and yogurt. I’m really, really unpleasant on the inside and the outside. Taxol sucks.

7 Responses

  1. Sounds terrible! Maybe we could say that the drugs are doing their job if you feel awful????

    I replied a few times but then I noticed a picture of another lady so now I’m not sure who I replied to????? talk about chemo brain – what’s my excuse haha

    • No, I think you’re commenting to me, it’s just it’s taken me a few days to get to approving them. If you’re seeing the little logo/gravatar of me, it’s one that Juli designed for my cookie-making business, it’s still me. It’s a ’50-style homemaker me in peach and white striped dress, flippy hair and a little crown. I’ll post one right now, March 20, so you can see it!

      • Now I see that you do see the mini-gravatar beside the comments, so now you can see it here and on March 20!

  2. I believe it’s a lady commenting to you. Her name is Heather from Jersey Shore who has had cancer. When I was suddenly reading about her I was confused because I couldn’t figure out when you went to the beach??? No biggie.
    Your little mini-me gravatar is very cute. Julie did a great job on it.
    And your cookies are works of art. Such clever designs and colours. I bet they taste as good as they look.
    Do you think you’ll get your business up and running again. By the looks of the goods, you would be very successful.

    • I was going to do the cookies as a side business when I was editor-in-chief at WHERE Toronto magazine—my hours were different, my energy level was different, and I was a two-parent household. I don’t think it’s in the cards as a money-maker, but I’ll certainly keep doing them for family, friends and special orders!

  3. Hi. So this is totally random, but I found your page while searching Google to try to find out who the yellow character on the I am Made of Poison shirt is.
    I have one that I got as a gift, but it doesn’t fit me so I was about to put it on eBay and I found you when searching so I could write a better description (I am also I’ll, so that’s why the person thought of giving it to me)
    It’s a “ladies” cut XL, very soft, black shirt with the yellow character in the middle, with “I am made of” in white and “Poison” under him.
    Obviously, I’m coming across this post 3 months after you wrote it, but I will hold off on posting it for a couple of days, and you can feel free to contact me at the email I provided when posting here
    I hope that you are doing as well as possible.

    • Hi Nicole!

      I would love to buy your T-shirt! I cannot access your email from your comment (limited technical expertise here) so I hope you see this. Mail me at jacquelynwv@yahoo.com and we can work out the details!

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