After the lump

I found my lump October 21. It hadn’t been there three days before, and there it was, round and smooth and practically waving from under my right arm. I called my GP’s office on my way downtown, and said I’d be there in 20 minutes. He saw me as soon as I arrived at his office. I’ve had him as my doctor for a hundred years, and value his honesty and calm. He said, pointing at his face, “Look at this face. Do I look worried? I’m not worried.” He was pretty convincing, but I was worried. He sent me off for a mammogram right away.

This is what I wrote to my sister on October 28:

I’ve been cross-referred to St. Michael’s General Surgery and Breast Clinic, before I even get in the door. If they don’t call me before noon tomorrow, I’m to call them and wait on the line until I get a time.
I finally went online last night, for the first time about this whole thing, and now I see what the big worry is, and why I’m referred even without bloodwork. When lymph nodes are this “involved” it is usually as a second site, meaning there’s already a primary cancer elsewhere. That’s why my man said he wanted a chest x-ray and liver and spleen US immediately, and why he was actually more worried that I was (if that were possible). Holy f——.
I’m not telling Mum this—you, Annabelle, Leslie-Ann and him only. No point telling anyone else. And I should know more within the week anyway.
I knew it wasn’t cat scratch disease then.

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