Reader poll—seriously, folks—how much do you want to know?

This is an odd post to be sure. If you’ve read my blog Because I Said So!, you know that I have three kids, an ex-husband, close family ties, excellent friends, a new puppy, a cat, two bunnies and a tank of fish. We have fabulously good times and then really bad times. Before Luka turned one, Graydon was diagnosed with leukemia. During the two and a half years of leukemia, Tessa was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder—her response to the trauma of Graydon’s life-threatening illness. Five weeks after Graydon went off treatment, I was let go from my job of 16 years, the one I worked at through Graydon’s entire treatment. One year almost to the day after that, our marriage was over. When the kids realized the only home they’d ever had would likely be sold, Tessa and Graydon both slid into a clinical depression.

Wow! That’s airing the family laundry alright!!

All I can say is the family situation gets better and worse, sometimes one at a time, sometimes at the same time. Sometimes one kid has trouble, the other two bond. One kid screws up, that kid has to make good. Or marks come in and there are tears and cheers and jeers.

Here is my own personal analogy, one that will form the theme of my first self-help book for parents:

Overall, parents are all swimming uphill. Occassionally there is a beautiful still lake or pond, and we all get to swim and float and play there for a while, but then the next thing happens. Maybe it only causes a ripple, and we can stay in the quiet pond for a while longer, but then there’s a storm, and if we don’t want to be swept down to the bottom where the sharks are, we start swimming uphill again.

After all of my uphill swimming, I am tired, very, very tired. I have caregiver fatigue, not a good place to be with three kids (and the animals, I know, although they are a cinch!), bills to pay and a D-I-V-O-R-C-E (sing it to the tune of Otis Redding’s Aretha’s RESPECT for the full effect) coming up, it is time to see my very own therapist. I have not done this. I have sought and found psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists for my children and for the family as a whole, but never for me. I hate to think of it this way, but that seems so subservient, mother-puts-all-others-before-herself. So, I’m doing it. I am seeing someone and we’ll see if it’s a good fit. It’s certainly a new chapter in my life.

So my Reader poll after all this is: do you want me to blog it? Not word-for-word of course (however, I might post interesting bits to YouTube), but some of the illuminating thoughts, coping strategies, useful advice, and just some notes on focusing finally on the MOM?

Maybe the process will help you see if there are parallels between my experience and yours, or maybe you’ll be able to say, “Thank God that’s not me!” Whatever your reason, please weigh-in with a “yes,” “no,” or “just select details, thanks!”

Now, put those fingers on the keys and type!
Thank you in advance for your vote. If you don’t want to leave it in the reply box, just email me personally at

I’ll be rounding the answers up and letting you know either Friday or week or the week after that. Hello! I decided to put a prize or two (three, actually) up for those of you who respond to my poll—the winner will be randomly chosen, so you don’t have to come up with something profound, although I really appreciate profound. Click here to see the prizes, then don’t forget to come back and leave your vote!

See you next post!



9 Responses

  1. Yes. I like the length of your posts. Not too short, not too long.
    Sometimes it’s a “yeah, I know how that feels” day. And other times it’s a “whoa, glad that’s not me” day.

  2. I say YES. Only the bits that you want to share of course and maybe only the bits that apply to Mom Blogging. IE. if something traces back to you having been called derogatory names when you were in grade one, you may not want or need to share it!

    Congrats and good luck. Enjoy the “me” time. Maybe work in a rewarding personal treat before or after each therapy appointment.

  3. I think we can all learn from others experiences! please share as much as you feel comfortable with.

  4. Writing can be very therapeutic, as you’d probably agree being a writer and all. I say YES, Jacquelyn. You’d be helping yourself and helping us out here, too. Bonne chance with your new chapter and thanks in advance!

  5. You seem to have gone through the mill woman dear… and survived. I think you are wonderful.

    I say ‘Yes’ to sharing, not only will this help you {better out than in} but you will be helping many many moms out there too. I think you’re brave beyond belief, and yes — treat yourself once in a while. Good luck!

  6. Hi Jacquelyn,
    I think you are an amazing woman, mother, & writer. I enjoy your blog very much & think that only you can determine how much to share or keep private. I believe you can share what you feel is important in any aspect of your life & that is what I’ll read about. So I say go for it if you want.

  7. I say yes to how ever much you want to share 🙂

  8. Yes it makes for interesting reading.

  9. I think almost all Moms reach a point in their lives where they start to wonder about themselves, what they’ve given up, what they’ve gain. Please share what you think might be beneficial to us, and what will also help you! Good luck with it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: