Mom blog: Because I Said So! Another motherhood thought, this time from Angela

Mom Blogger JacquelynHey, Angela, you truly understand! (Angela left a comment on my post of Friday—click over quickly and read it.) I have lately felt like people look at mums as people who had nothing “going on” in their lives so they had kids. Not so! And you don’t become a parent because you’re challenged by a good tea party or Hot Wheels race.
I babysat very profitably in my teens, and still wasn’t sure if mothering was something I could do. Luckily one of my sisters had the first baby in the family, and we lived in the same neighbourhood, so I volunteered to babysit baby Jay one night a week so sis and BIL could get out of the apartment and date. It sounded selfless, but it was totally selfish. I spent that time with Jay practising (or mostly inventing) a mothering style. I tried soft voices, Slovenian accents, Italian accents, South African accents, goofy voices, sound effects. I sang, did silly tricks, carried him around as much as he’d let me, diapered him too much to check on the timing and quantity of output. I gauged his eye movements and pupil dilation as I held up different toys and pictures. And I stared at him and sniffed his head and stroked his skin.

By the time they moved out of town (I tell myself it had nothing to do with the charts and journals and camera equipment I brought to each babysitting job), I knew I was going to be a decent mum. I had the feeling.

Weird thing was, I also knew I had to have three kids if I had one, and it turned into such a biological imperative that I was astounded by my own desperation to have baby number 3.

You said it just right:
“The way I have grown as a person would not have happened without them.”

I’m going to put your quote right beside that of India’s, which I’ll repeat here:
“Motherhood is the answer to everything…. It takes away that ghastly thing of looking at yourself too much.”

I love kids. Especially mine. But don’t try dropping yours off at my place or anything—my hands, plates and trunk are full!

Have a thought or two about how you came to parenting and what it’s been like? Leave me a posting and I’ll quote you, promise.

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2 Responses

  1. With a 16 year old girl and an 18 year old boy I am finally beginning to understand that once a parent, always a parent. As a parent, your responsibilities never go away, they just evolve.

    Since I was a little girl building Barbie furniture out of dixie cups, I just always saw my future with a couple of kids. But I always thought that one day some divine light would shine down and I would know beyond the shadow of a doubt that “now is the time – I am ready to be a parent”. On the contrary, it was a total shock and the first thing I did when I saw the little blue stick was sit down on the edge of the tub and cry.

    I am a very lucky person. My babies liked to sleep, my toddlers were amused by everyday life, their elementary school years were filled with good friends, good teachers, challenges and tears, disappointments and small successes, and now at ages 16 and 18 they talk to me about meaningful things that are happening in their lives.

    I wouldn’t change a thing.

  2. Wow! I am so impressed by Ho Ho Ho’s comments. Raising two teenagers and still she thinks she is lucky. And the thought that she is going to be parenting them forever comes across as almost blissful.

    I’ve managed to time my children’s teen years with what I am sure will be the onslaught of my own menopause. I’ve already warned my hubbie to head for the hills on those days he even senses a rise in hormone levels. I will just keep chanting the mantra inspired by Ho Ho Ho’s words…they’re evolving, their evolving, their evolving…

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