Mom blog: Ostrich meat and nicotine

OSTRICH MEAT AND NICOTINE
Boy walks into a butcher shop.
“I’d like to buy some of your ostrich meat,” he says.
The butcher says, “I can’t let you do that, son.”
“Why not?”
“Well, ostrich meat has nicotine in it.”
“Really?” asks the boy.
“Yes. You have to be over 19 to buy it. Now, if you come back with your parent, I can sell you some.”
“Wow.”
The boy shakes his head and and looks at the rest of the counter.
The butcher says to him,
“Now, let’s say I could sell you some ostrich meat…how much would you want?”
“Ah, no thanks, ah, I was just looking,” and the boy beats a hasty retreat from the meat shop.

Is this a joke?
You tell me.
My a-hair-breadth’s-away-from 14-year-old son went into one of our local butcher shops. He’s a bit of a foodie, always willing to try something new. He went into a different butcher the previous week and bought fresh-ground turkey sausages for the family. So this time, he thought he’d bring home some ostrich meat for me to turn into dinner.

When I arrived home from work (yipee!) and asked him how his day went, he asked me if I knew that ostrich meat had nicotine in it. I did not. He told me the above exchange, practically verbatim. I asked him several times if he was putting me on, but he swears it happened. He even had his six-year-old brother with him.

I asked why, when the butcher said, “Well, if you could get some, how much would you want?” why he didn’t tell him a pound or whatever.

“What?!? And get caught in a sting? And have the DEA down my throat? What’s that dude doing? Trying to get kids in trouble? All I wanted was something cool for dinner.”

So, some questions and observations:
Butcher-dude was having some fun with the kid.
Butcher dude doesn’t recognize an almost-14-year-old had a pocket of money that day to buy fixings for a dinner for four.
My kid has some pretty fine instincts to shy away from what’s starting to look shady.
My kid IS going to bring his parent in to sign for that ostrich meat. I’ll fill you in when I do!

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One Response

  1. What a wonderful family … first off let me commend you on a great teenager!!! Smart, loving and cooks too… (I picked up on loving since he not only was willing to cook dinner for everyone he also was shopping for dinner fixings with his younger brother along) … loved reading this entry (first one I’ve read of yours.

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