Secretly he preened, knowing the girls in the neighbourhood would be jealous.

Don’t misunderstand me. I see my backyard every day from on high, from the Romeo and Juliet deck that towers over the yard. From that vantage point the grass never looks really tall, and you just see the tops of weedsflowers and the odd dog toy. Sure, the raspberry bushes are overgrown, but whose raspberry bushes aren’t unruly shoots and brambles?

So to gain access to the backyard and the rake, I had to go down the path between the houses, and encountered this:

This passage sealed the fate of the zombie leaf pile on Halloween night, and led directly to my decision to abandon the backyard fall cleanup

A week and a half ago there was a phenomenal storm that ripped a huge branch from the front maple. It landed on the car, with one end on the front yard, over the car and the other end touching our neighbours’ tree in the centre of their yard. It took two strapping lads to drag it and stuff it between the houses, because the wind was so fierce we figured it would keep smacking things on its way down the street. I wrote a note to number 1 son and his friend to please cut the branch down and bag it for yard waste day removal. Fail.

So I picked my way around the tree and saw my backyard from ground level for what could be the first time since the end of summer. Great horny toads! What a disaster! I’ve been asking, suggesting, prodding, threatening, even the n-word that is forbidden in my home to describe anything I do (na**ing), but no one has done anything but pick raspberries and throw toys for the puppy for the last two months, and it looks it.

It all comes back to the mum. Read the ads, make the list, cook the meals, clean the meals, buy the clothes, wash the clothes—now not only would I be raking the leaves back here, but pruning and thinning and grass-cutting and then sawing and hacking these branches down to size too.

So this morning when I opened my mail and saw one of those deal emails for a fall yard cleanup, I said NO. Actually, I said YES, I will buy this, and NO I will not get stuck doing more work around the house than I already do. So, I paid $59 (regular charge for the service is $189) for someone else to rake, bag and drag the leaves away, trim and prune my lilacs, forsythia and raspberries, fertilize, de-weed and cut the lawn.

I have felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders, and back, and back of legs and triceps, biceps and deltoids too. I feel like a wealthy woman (the charge went through, so why not??), because for a few hours, I will have a yard man or woman. I have never had one of those. I’ll bet it feels great.

I am also sending a link to this deal and a link to Property Maintenance Pro, the company that is doing the service, to 30 or so friends and acquaintances. I feel a little smarmy doing that, but it’s a great price, everyone of those people deserve a break, and the side benefit is that if anyone else in the area buys the service, I get some money knocked off mine! And then I would be a slightly wealthier woman. Yay!

Til next time, or when I get Halloween pics from my phone.

I have been on sabbatical (just from blogging) and am hoping to be doing more bit by bit. Today’s post is a stretch, since it’s mostly an invitation to share my Mother’s Day gifts! But I will be back next Wednesday with a WFMW traditional post!

I was talking (wailing) with another mother yesterday about how Mother’s Day should just be abolished when the kids decide they are cool. Usually this hits around the teens. In my particular house, finishing Grade 5 is close to the end, because that’s when they move from the wonderful little primary school—which even has the word “sun” in its name—to the up-to-Grade-8-somewhat-scary school. In the “sun” school the teachers and volunteers take great pains to orchestrate the making and wrapping of gifts. In the next school, it’s every kid for him- or herself.

So, from my little sweetheart I got a very painterly daffodil, quite the homage to van Gogh.

The artist and his work

And from my daughter, this incredible thank-you vlog, which made me cry, of course, and which you can feel free to share with any mum you know. I think my girl just put into words what all our children think, if only they would slow down.

Thanks very much for visiting!

I have been on sabbatical (just from blogging) and am hoping to be doing more bit by bit. Today’s post is a stretch, since it’s mostly an invitation to share my Mother’s Day gifts! But I will be back next Wednesday with a WFMW traditional post!

I was talking (wailing) with another mother yesterday about how Mother’s Day should just be abolished when the kids decide they are cool. Usually this hits around the teens. In my particular house, finishing Grade 5 is close to the end, because that’s when they move from the wonderful little primary school—which even has the word “sun” in its name—to the up-to-Grade-8-somewhat-scary school. In the “sun” school the teachers and volunteers take great pains to orchestrate the making and wrapping of gifts. In the next school, it’s every kid for him- or herself.

So, from my little sweetheart I got a very painterly daffodil, quite the homage to van Gogh.

The artist and his work

And from my daughter, this incredible thank-you vlog, which made me cry, of course, and which you can feel free to share with any mum you know. I think my girl just put into words what all our children think, if only they would slow down.

Thanks very much for visiting!

Female with feline capabilities, plus opposable claws!

Hey! My boss has a great post over at  Laggylife’s Blog, so pop over and read it first, then come back. I started a comment for her post, but it got tooooo large, so I migrated it here!

GO! Then come back!

Virgin is a very clever marketer, but as Laggy says, marketing and advertising are all about the bucks for companies such as this, and nothing about social responsibility. I’ll bet the conversation at the table went something like this:

“Uh, doesn’t that make this girl a stalker?”

“Yeah! You wish!”

“She can stalk me anytime.”

“But stalking is a serious thing—look at John Lennon and Rebecca Schaeffer.”

“Rebecca who?”

“Guys stalk, not chicks. A chick who stalks is hot.”

“Yeah, she can stalk me anytime.”

The ads are clever, but kinda sick and scary. Your tongue must be firmly planted in your cheek to enjoy them. The adverts will definitely win awards, and the creative types will wave them around as they endorse the use of “crazy” people and behaviours to sell their shit. I’m sure Virgin’s creative thinks it’s OK because men usually are the stalkers, and women are the stalkees (although there is a fair amount of male-on-male stalking, but there is always a victim), so hey!

“These ads are cool!”

“It’s a blow for women’s rights and feminism!”

“Chicks should thank us!”

There are stats on the Stalking Resource Center, although from ’98, that put the percentage of male stalkers at 87 per cent.

But what dude doesn’t have a fantasy that a hot chick just wants his body so badly she’ll follow him anywhere? Ask Paul Sheldon or maybe Dan Gallagher, Tom Sanders, Dave, or even Michael. Girl-on-boy stalking is fun!

Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience has an excellent article on the subject: These Boots are Made for Stalking: Characteristics of Female Stalkers.

My takeaways from this?

1. Dating is hell, but it’s even more hellish a hell that before social networking.
2. Stalking is creepy. Will she boil a bunny next?
3. I get unlimited text, talk and data for $45 a month from Wind. Duh.

There are too many alternate realities for me

So, thank you Ms Laggy for a jumping-off point this fine sunny Monday noon.You might want to post the addresses and names you got at Virgin—I’ll fire something over, and I do still write long-hand too!

さようなら

sayonara

This morning I got a list titled “This I Know for Sure” from a group I subscribe to—Foundation for Cancer Research and Wellness—written by  Stephanie Mesaric, a 15-year breast cancer survivor, a registered nurse with over 38 years of healthcare experience and a new Masters of Science grad in holistic health. Wow.

This I Know For Sure

As a breast cancer survivor, oncology research nurse and holistic health practitioner, I would like to share things that I have learned along the way. Read the full article

1. We are spiritual beings on a physical journey.
2. Victim mentality never serves us well.
   
3. Knowledge is power.
4. The mind is not separated from the body.
   
5. Medical professionals do not have all the answers.
6. Deep breathing is highly under rated.
7. Our bodies were designed with an innate ability to heal and balance themselves.
8. Cancer is a cellular disease.
9. Balance is the key to health.
10. Life is to be lived in the present.

I’ve printed out the longer, linked, version to give to a few close, close friends and relatives currently learning to live with and battle the beast at the same time. More power (and ondansetron) to you!!

This is always how I imagine my morning coffee to look. It usually ends up in a travel mug with a leaky lid and then ultimately on whatever shirt, sweater, scarf or coat I am wearing

I sent my boyfriend the lyrics to “Monday, Monday” by The Mamas and The Papas early this morning because I was in such a crazy hurry to get all of the Monday morning stuff done—and got 10-year-old fed, dressed, washed and to school one minute late (only one!), Graydon’s friend to his house and me to my office on time. When I have a terrible night’s sleep (like last night) I bring far more positive energy to the table to make the day get off well. By the time I got to my office, I was patting myself on the back because despite a very cramped and emotionally stressful weekend, I felt kind of OK. Amazing how distance and coffee can cause home-amnesia. A simple exchange with a colleague brought it back:

“Hey, will this make you smile?”
9:00 AM
[forgive my techno-break from current WordPress reality, but I do not know if this video link will work, so like in the old, old, old days, I can only paste in the URL here, and suggest that you watch it before reading further, Because it really will take you back and make you smile!]

“Aw yes, that made me smile. And reminded me of a stellar component of this morning’s mad dash for school and work—toast in toaster, get butter—all gone! lazy-ass kids used it all up—grab stone-cold butter from fridge, cut in half and chuck in microwave. Punch 10-second button twice. Run to get pup in (barking fool head off). Get Luka’s school bag on the way back, pour milk on cereal. Get water for pup. Ping! Toast done. Open microwave, see hunk of butter is liquid all over turntable. Why is 10-second button so damn close to the one-minute button on this microwave???? That made the mummie very annoyed, but she just shut the microwave door and reached for the nutella! Yay Mum!
9:04 AM

“I used to be sent to my room to consider the impact and scope using the last of the margerine would have on each other family member and the family as a whole. I use buttter now.”

“That is good parental practice. Graydon was the guilty one, and he was unconscious in his room. Pick the battles…”

“Granted, that’s pretty much as “BAD” as bad I got.”
9:07 AM

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!  Virgo: Everyone is looking to you now because your pragmatic outlook is exactly what is needed today. It may seem like others are coming to you for assistance because they’re trying to make up for lost time. It doesn’t matter that you might be ready to slow down a bit; you’ll probably end up helping your friends, anyway. Don’t just do what’s expected of you because you think you should. Act from the heart or don’t do it at all.”

“What’s yours?”

“I am a Gemini. I used to think that was fun, now I think is is a step over the threshhold of MPD.”

“LOL! Oh, lord. You might expect the hectic pace of your life to settle down now, but instead you seem to face one problem after another. Even if your day runs smoothly, your curiosity drives you to search for answers to a whole list of questions. Instead of scattering your attention, get back to the basics and focus on the most practical issues in your life. Methodically tying up loose ends today will go a long way toward preventing them from unraveling later on. Sorry!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAAAAAAWAAAAAAAWAAAAAAWAAAAA!!!!!!!

9:12 AM

See ya!

Although he doesn't always look this sad, Phineus and Ferb's platypus is always unsettled about something, and rarely "holds" a smile...

Aaaaawww… Those are words I never wanted to hear coming from my 9-year-old Luka. He’s sitting in the back seat, holding his brother’s PSP game-thing, looking out the window.

“What do you mean, ‘depressed’? Like you feel sad about something?”

“No, not really sad. Down. I feel down all the time.”

“Like all day long?”

“Like every day. I just feel down all the time.”

Mental Health Awareness Week was last week, no, two weeks ago, or was it a month? I was all set to post lots of links to mental health sites and my good intentions disappeared in a tidal wave of work, here and at work, you name it. I had an instant pang of, Dang! I’ve not been paying attention to the littlest one!

“But you had a great time playing with your cousin on the weekend,” I urge.

“Sure, when I’m playing nonstop sometimes I’m too busy, but if I get not busy, it just all comes back.”

“What?”

“The down feeling. It comes back feeling bigger.”

“But honey, you have fun at school. In the field, the snow pit, with your friends? Right?”

“Yeah. But I can’t keep a smile.”

“How so?”

“You know Cory (the names have been changed to protect the happy) in my class? He’s not depressed. He grins and smiles all the time. I can only smile a little. I can’t smile for more than 10 seconds. It just breaks.”

Aaawww. No. Not my littlest guy.

“Who else do you know who is maybe depressed or down, like you feel? Anybody?”

“Graydon. And Tessa sometimes.”

OK. We did all attend family therapy, and we talk for an hour. He’s bound to hear them talk about depression in our sessions. He could be:

• modelling their behaviour to be the same as them
• needing more attention, and sees this as a way to that
• letting his “learned helplessness” from school carry over to home
• actually, finally showing some signs of the stress the family has been under.

I pick Option 4.

“Luka, you know how we all talked to Lincoln on Mondays about how everybody was doing? Well, maybe we could talk about you specially. Maybe you could talk to him with Tessa, Graydon and me out of the room for a while?”

No answer, just nodding. But actions speak louder than words. So I’ll be making a call or two next week.

It’s Friday. I am so out of practice with blogging that I can’t even remember what I used to do on Fridays…Foto Fridays rings a bell (snaps a shutter). I’ll have to look into it.

Have a fab weekend!

Anastasia and Myk in Ukraine for Christmas (her hair is deep, deep brown, his is blond and army-short, and neither of them would wear those clothes)

From: tessa
To: jacquelyn
Sent: Wed, December 30, 2009 4:24:16 AM
Subject: Hi!

Hello!
Myk and I are in Kiev right now, checking our e-mail. Luka would die not having internet at a house! No games or anything. It’s really beautiful here, and not as cold as I thought (so the jacket is warm enough, don’t worry). Also I barfed yesterday! It was eventful. I miss Luka a lot and talk about him a lot too. Also please read him this email.

Luka – do you miss me? I bet you don’t I’m joking. You can go in my room anytime remember, and the password for the computer is in that container, i hope you remember. Say hi to goosey for me, and call him crazy

I love you Luka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

And I love you too mum, and graydon…. i guess. I’m kidding. I’m getting souvenirs today, so hopefully i will find some good things for all you guys.

Okay. I am going, so say hi to…
Angel, Flopsy, Clover (crazy dog), and those stinky fish who i don’t love
BYE!

ps. bye lukey, i MISS YOU!!!!!!! A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luka, age 8, two weeks ago